I am the spouse of my wife Marsha.  We were in the Singles ministry for six years before we were married. I spotted her on July 21st 1989 and my bible talk. She walked in with my now two very precious twin daughters ( hers biologically). I took note of her almost immediately.  The most beautiful smile in the room.  An added plus was the woman of God she would become. Powerful......woooooooweeeee. I Digress.  Anyway, through trial and error, I convinced this strong woman of God to accept my begging and pleading to marry me. She was a single mom who could melt me into a singe cell. God blessed me. But here are my convictions that I learned that brought me to this point.

1. God is always in control of everything that happens. If you take your hands off the handle bars because of fear he guides the entire bike.

2. Brothers, our sisters in Christ are far too valuable and precious to allow the world to taint them.  There are some smooth operators in this world.  Your sister is christ is your responsibility. The most attractive men to a woman of God is a man who is sold out to God first.  Her security around you may be strengthened by the Level of Godliness you display.

Elaboration:  A sister in Christ should never not have a date or coffee time unless she chooses. I took out every single

sister in the Church when I was single.  I sometimes had two dates a weekend because my conviction was to not let the world have my sisters in Christ. At the time there were very few Married couples. Singles and Campus were the dominant at the time.

3. Sisters, brothers are sometimes clumsy, clueless, and all thumbs.  Please forgive them.....some of them are doing their best.  But I do think also, sisters should also help protect brothers from those women who would draw them away from God's Kingdom. Women in the world who come across one of our brothers who are Godly have the same reaction as Potiphers wife.  A man you can trust and have security in is rare.

4. Now this is the hard one.  When dating, Brothers please don't put sisters in uncomfortable situations.  They are your responsibility. Throw out the book of schemes you   may  hav had in the world. Your sisters in Christ is a gift from God.

5. Sisters, I will not say anything to you in that area because it is not my place. But what I can say is we are brother/ Sister in Christ.  We glorify Him with how we treat one another.

6. Brothers, when that dates happen, put real thought into it down to the last detail so that sister wont have to improvise. Be it a nice dinner, a day to have fun, or just coffee.  Make her think of God and you only.....in that order.

7. Having fun can be expensive but Brothers, your sister in Christ should be worth it......Have you seen the price of Cappaccino Lately.....

These are some of them convictions I have learned through trial and error.   I hope it helps

Brother

Thank you so much for these words.  Its evident that your convictions for your sisters in Christ are of the highest standards and this is why GOD has blessed you with your lovely wife and family.  As difficult as it is being single and sold out for Jesus while having to deal with the "smooth operators" of the world it is more discouraging when we sisters run into brothers with these same character flaws.  So discouraging to the point that I have heard sisters ask why should they wait on these brothers if they are behaving the same as the men in the world.  But reading your post answers why we should wait and be patient and why we should trust GOD's will for our lives.  One other point I would like to comment on is that you are absolutely right, we should not be hearing that sisters are not dating because there are more than enough brothers.  Lets not blame the inability to take sisters on dates on finances because there are so many "FREE" things to do, especially for those of you who live in large cities.  It just takes some creative thinking and the heart to serve and encourage your sister in Christ.

Thanks again and I pray your post is read by all....GOD BLESS

Jen

I am 100% united w/you in mind and thought brother.

I did my best to date all the single sisters. I had at least one date a week and sometimes 3. My convictions were (are) the same. Brothers need to protect the sisters. They are God's daughters.

Plus it was a great evangelistic tool - besides just inviting people to church - sharing w/ my co-workers how my weekend went.

I encouraged (sometimes challenging) the brothers to not let a sister go a weekend w/out a date.

Sushi-girl: If you ever make it down here to Dallas, let me know ahead of time and I will set you up on dates for every day you are here - all I ask is that one of those dates has to be a double w/ me and my wife.

About the 'Free Dates" - The majority of my dates were inexpensive, very inexpensive, or just plain out free. There were a few dates that I spent more money on than others but it mostly because that is what the other brothers planned for us to do. When I planned the outing, I tried to keep the cost down so other brothers who otherwise couldn't afford it, could still take a sister out.

About the sisters being frustrated w/ the brothers - All I can say is that I feel for ya. He was right in saying that sometimes we are clueless, clumsy, and all that stuff. Sometimes the brothers are just prideful (hopefully a temporary state of mind). Just remember that the Kingdom is bigger than our bible talk, our 'region' or 'our church'. Several disciples have married other disciples in other cities. One sister in our region is dating a brother in the St. Louis church.

So, be patient, look around (at disciples only), pray, and all that good stuff.

One Last Thing: Two Scriptures that I held on to when I was single are...

1 Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

2 Psalm 84:11
...the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

I saw that having a wife is a good thing. God had a woman in store and He wasn't going to keep her from me. Fathers give good gifts to their sons, how much more will God give good gifts!!! Lk 11:10-13

From a man's perspective I would say

"Sisters: You are this woman. When a man whose walk is blameless 'finds you' ... God is going to do something. What is it?"

In Unity w/Love, Byron

Byron, thank you so much for your kind words.  If and when I am ever in the Dallas area I will let you know.  This will definitley give me an excuse to go shopping, seven dates in seven days, I may never return to NYC...lol.  But honestly I would be honored to double date with you and your lovely wife. 

GOD has truly blessed you with a servants heart, thank you so much for your willingness to teach and share your wisdom with us all.  I am encouraged by your insightfulness each time I read one of your posts. 

Sushigirl (aka Jen)

We are near you, in Spirit 

Great to learn from each one of your experiences...Appreciate you sharing