Alright, we have a group for the Singles Ministry!! lets start posting!!

Hello to everybody! So, what are the most common problems you see in singles groups? In our small group it is unfocused lifestyle when the disciples live a cosy life serving when it is convinient to them, coming to meetings when it is convinient to them and having God somewhere on their list, but definitely not on the first place) and, as a result, no unity and atmosphere.

If you have similar situations, please, share what has helped you to remind the disciples in your group about their purpose in life. Your insight will be very appreciated!

I feel you. That seems the way it is pretty much all around. However, I belive that we just need to continue to speak the truth to them in love and get our hands dirty. However, the choices they make are their own. I'm not saying "Oh, well." What I am saying is that if they were only "fired up" when they didn't have to think on thier own very much and had lots of things assigned,then perhaps they didn't become disciples for the right reasons. Praise GOD for his Grace on all of us.  I do believe they are saved by GOD's Grace. I am not questioning that.  I think what has helped the most in my ministry is for those who are currently stronger (we all are weak at times) to really pray for GOD to open the eyes of thier hearts. You can only lead and point to the food. Individually, we have to choose to eat.  My encouragement to you is that you not allow Satan to steel your joy by seeing what you are seeing. We are at war. We can choose to give, serve, share and live a life of Worship reguardless of how others are around us. Don't hold back your heart from GOD or others.

Jude

 20But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. 21Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

 22Be merciful to those who doubt; 23snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.

 24To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— 25to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

I left the church in 2004. Just looking at all the uncommited disciples in the church made me to want to throw up. For 2 years I couldnt get anybody in the church to read, or pray, or share with me. I was so focused on helping others that I took my focus off of God and left myself. I hear you when you say that people reached a point where they couln't think for themselves. The church I left behind lost about 75 members over the next year, and many members that were still in the church appeared to be in the church for a social club. I have moved to another sector and am being restored, but it seems like the members of the church have been traumatized by the sudden change in the church. They sit around as if they were in front of the world trade center the day after 9/11. They have been traumatized and cannot think for themselves. They want the church to change, but they are too wasted to make the effort to change themselves. Possibly they want somebody to tell them what to do, even though the Bible plainly tells us what God wants from us. I can only pray for myself to change and for the members of my old church to change and for the members of my new church to change. I pray that we will find some ministry to come into our church and guide us too.

I agree that's pretty much the point! People had been told what to do by leaders for so long that it takes time for them to start thinking by themseleves and make their own choices. Moscow church lost almost half its members  through these changes. But I praise Lord for those who remained faithful. I would be more inspiring to me, of course, to see fired up people around me - and actually there are, but as Revelations say: even that little faith you had you kept - that's good.

I keep reminding myself that it's not me who leads each of them, but God. And God is definitely more persistent in His leading than me))) So if He want somebody to be a Christian, He won't stop trying to change them))

BTW, so great to hear of someone being restored! Good luck to you!

I very much agree with you, Harleygirl, that we are to keep OUR focus on God no matter what happens around us. "YOU follow me', - Jesus said to Peter.

And I still very much long for more piece of practical advice on how to encourage disciples to really commit themselves to Christ. BTW, I've just finished reading "Purpose Driven Church" by Rick Warren - that was quite a hand but some of the principles he mentions, for example, signing some kind of contract with your church where you promise to commit yourself, won't do here in Russia))) treaties and contracts are not very much respected here)))

Hi Everyone!  I just wanted to pop in and say hi.....

Jeremial 29:11 -  For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Practicles:

1) Pray for your own heart to be protected from bitterness. (don't be the big brother in the parable of the lost son). I don't mean this critically towards you. Satan is the enemy and he uses whatever he can to take you out. He hates you.

2) Pray to truely love the weak. True love (agape) is sacrificial.

3) Pray for GOD to open the eyes of thier hearts.

4) Continue doing the good you know you ought to do.

5) Get with sisters individually. Get your hands dirty. Things take time.

 You may be surprised to see that some people are just confused and need someone to hold thier hand.

By the way, I believe that contracts in Church are not helpful. It's a nice idea but, practically it uses wrong motivation.

In scripture vows were considered very serious and to break one was not good.

That's really helpful, thanks!!!!

I agree completely with this. I would also add, don't forget to use the Word, and speak the truth IN LOVE to them.  In the last year our singles ministry all but disappeared as the church here went through a serious shake up. About half the Church left.  We still have some who want to sit by the sidelines and watch as a small core tries to rebuild our Singles Ministry.  The great thing is, that by leading by example, the fringe disciples are starting to see the joy and zeal of the ones still in the fight, and seem to be starting to rekindle their fires.

One more issue I'd like to receive some insight from you, dear brothers and sisters.

What challenge do you think is more to the point: to challenge only from the Bible without adding personal feelings into this or

invite one's own personal feelings?

As an example, to make my question clearer: one of my partner-sisters who helps her husband lead sisters in a Bible Talk continually used to tell sisters in her BT that they need to try and grow, come to BTs, have realtionships with each other and so on using the Sctiptures. But there was no result. One of other sisters advised her to share her feelings like say, for example: dear sisters, the fact that you don't come to BTs and that you don't react in any way to what I'm trying to tell you, that you don't try to build realtionships with each other make me suffer, I don't understand why you don't want to, or can't.

A complex point for me, so I hope I've managed to express my point.

Any input will be appreciated!

To Cathilee: that's one of my own favourite extracts!)))

Hey, its a good question.

I can say whats working more in BT where i am and also whats working more on me.
Use feelings, but avoid blaming like "you make me suffer" or something like that.  Better share your experience like "when you constantly miss our BT, i feel frustrated and unimportant" or just  be specific when you talk about situations that troubled you. Also let them share how they feel. 

I think its important for deeper relationships and people are more interested in coming to BTs and growing in relationships.

1 Pet 1:22 "Love one another deeply, from the heart".

HI, all...

I was finishing Campus when the church started going through the changes and challenges, so I haven't really got a frame of reference for comparison in terms of what a vibrnt sigles ministry might be like. But from my experience,I was baptised into campus where i spent hours with disciples every day, and every one more or less was of the same age and the same mindset.. I think the intense idealism and enthusiasm also was a factor in making campus ministries a bit of a Utopia-like experience.. I think one of the challenges with the singles is that the ministry is incredibly diverse; from 19-year-old high-school grads entering the working world, to 50-year-old single parents of 20-year-olds.. Diverse lifestyles, diverse needs.. And unlike campus ministry that is more homogenous, it needs a different approach in leadership to create that family feeling..

I think that there are many tools for acheiving a nice vibe in a ministry.. but beyond the bells and whistles for attractiing and hyping up attendance, I believe we always need to look to restoring a right perspective of our lives here on earth...Personally, I think what has helped me get back a desire to be more immersed in a life in the church is seeing the church as God sees it, a Bride, beautiful, precious loved and worth defending, serving and rejoicing over. I think disciples that hold back have something missing in their walk with God, without that our relationships with each other as disciples will be worldly, stained with selfishness and critical attitudes (may God give us the grace not to be overcome by them) ..

I think the solution is about meeting needs in small groups and investing the time in individuals in a ministry that can be swayed by a few lonely or bitter people (I think it is more likely than in other ministries) - It's not always fun to invest in people that are not responsive, but that's what the singles I know really hunger for- myself included, for someone to seek them out, remember them, want them around, even though they don't admit it (I only speak from my weakness and observations of those around me). I think we typically tend to feel forgotten or lonely more easily than other ministries from what I have observed. I believe that this is our Achilles heel as a ministry.. And as a knee-jerk reaction we can revert to defensive,independent "I-dont-need-anyone" dialogues in our spirits to protect the tender emotional struggles when we feel our "singleness" keenly- I've been there myself, it's not a great place to be, but pride has a way of making us feel powerful when we feel too vulnerable, and our emotional need for connection and belonging is left unsatified- it's a sort of a catch-twenty-two, a downward spiral ...

What has also helped me is the merging of the Young Marrieds with Singles Ministry - we call it the "Y.M.S Ministry" .what I mean is that in my instance, most ,if not all of my closest Campus friends got married soon after graduating, and all within a short time of one another.. we found that seperating long-standing relationships didn't strengthen the ministry, but left people suddenly isolated and lonely without their old support network. In my bibletalk there are marrieds and singles and it works really well at meeting my need for friends that know me since my diaper-days, as well as new sinlgels that join us from time to time. The downside to this is that it can create "cliques" where people that don't share your memories can feel left out.. I guess there are no perfect solutions..Anyway, bibletalk is more like a hangout with my friends we are at ease with one another, can talk about anything and everything and often leave at midnight to go home..I hardly skip it these days because it's about friends, not clocking in hours because of duty, and even if I missone, there are emails amongst us the next day to continue with jokes and discussions form the previous night- it's a more natural situation.

In creating a natural feel out of unlikely groupings I think we need to constantly remind each other to fall in Love with God and the Bride of Christ .Then, our devotion will come more naturally as a compulsion to show love and serve, than to have others constantly pushing us from behind, that motivation cannot last us to the finish-line.. I know that's what I need my brothers and sisters to do for me : "Encourage one another daily..take care that your hearts are not hardened by sin's deceitfulness... see to it, brothers, that no-one misses the Grace of God"(I'm paraphrasing)

I hope what I have written makes some sense.. If it's too long, I am sorry - I'll see if I can come up with practicals to bring it all together..as for the typo's I trust that there is Grace in God's kingdom. Much love to you,all..

I liked what you said, sis! (though it WAS a bit long )

In our Bible talk we have two married couples, three moms, one sister married to a non-disciple, one single mom, one divorced, all of them being from half a year up to 15 in Christ and from 23 to 35 (not counting the children). That IS a variety of interests, and what a vvariety of temperaments and characters!

And what I liked most is your words: "we need to constantly remind each other to fall in Love with God and the Bride of Christ .Then, our devotion will come more naturally as a compulsion to show love and serve, than to have others constantly pushing us from behind, that motivation cannot last us to the finish-line"

 I find it difficult to be economical with words when writing.. I hope people aren't put off..

It's off topic but when I went to school, it was difficult for me to write an essay or a composition during the 45 minutes of our lesson. And usually two lessons were not enough either. I used to ask my teacher to let me write it at home when I had as much time as I needed)))) But writing in a different language, not your own, usually makes you briefer ;)

I find that in smaller churches the single ministries seem to be one of the ministries that is struggling or really small.  I am a single mom of three teens, and not many people know how to relate to me or help me through this time in my life.  My ex was a disciple and then fell away and then had an affair on me, and so hence, the divorce.  My divorce will be final in Feb 2009, but we have been seperated for over a year. Long story, and legal issues.  Yet, I do feel in my heart that I am single, but cannot date sense my divorce is not final - ugh!  Much advice and prayer is wanted and needed.

 Mary,

Sorry to hear about your situation. I can relate, as my wife left, divorced and married another man after we moved here to a small town, with a small ministry (We have 7 in our singles ministry at the moment, about 65 in the Church.)  All that got me through it was understanding how deeply God loved me, and learning to trust that He would see to it that I wouldn't have anything I can't handle, although at times I wondered how I was going to make it.  All I can really suggest is, besides a lot of prayer and being in the Word all the time, find a sister there that you trust, and be open with everything you feel, no matter how foolish you feel about your emotions, get them out. The support of having someone who will listen and not judge, is amazing.  I had a couple of Brothers here that I know I owe my life to, because they would just listen, and love me, even if I was ranting and raving, and hating the world, which I felt at times.  I will definitely pray for you also.  It is a tough road, but God is faithful, and will bless you greatly as you remain strong through it.

YBIC,

Paul

Mary: Sorry to hear about your tough situation as well. I am not a mom, but have a similar story marriage-wise at least.  My divorce was final in Oct 2008.  It is definitely tough being newly single.  I don't know how much you have searched around this site, but under general forum, there is a divorce message board and you may want to poke around and see if there is a single parent forum!  I just found the divorce one and it is nice to know that we are not alone out there in the kingdom!  Also, what helped me a lot was reading Judges 6 - especially vs 14 where God tells Gideon "go in the strength that you have."  I pretty much clung to that for most of 2008 b/c i didn't feel like i had very much strength AT ALL!  good luck, my prayers are with you!

Sarah

our Common Rapport Building Mistakes and how to fix them

Studies Explore Link Between Chiropractic Care and Fertility
planetc1.com-news
Source: World Chiropractic Alliance (WCA)

According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 6 million women in the United States are infertile, and over 9 million use some kind of infertility service.

A series of research papers published in the Journal of Vertebral Subluxation Research (JVSR) suggests that chiropractic adjustments, performed by chiropractors to address nerve interference caused by spinal distortions, could offer hope to many of these women.

The 12 studies in the series found that chiropractic had positive results regardless of the woman’s age, number of years infertile, previous medical intervention or health history including miscarriages, blocked fallopian tubes, amenorrhea, colitis, or trauma.

The first in the series, “Insult, Interference and Infertility: An Overview of Chiropractic Research,” reviewed 14 retrospective articles on the possible effect of spinal problems on fertility. All of the women in these studies were found to have vertebral subluxations – misalignments and/or related problems of the spine that interfere with how the nerves work. These problems in the spine can be corrected by chiropractors with painless adjustments to the affected spinal area.

The stress histories of these infertile women included – but were not limited to – previous motor vehicle accidents, childhood falls, blocked fallopian tubes, scoliosis, and work stress that affected both mind and body. All of the women became pregnant after their subluxations were detected and corrected.

Among the cases cited in the first JVSR study was that of a 32-year-old infertile woman who had not menstruated for 12 years. The woman had undergone a number of medical infertility treatments, but still could not conceive. After two months of chiropractic care, with attention on adjustments in the lumbar region, her menses started and after regular cycles for four months, she became pregnant.

In explaining how chiropractic adjustments could affect fertility, Madeline Behrendt, D.C., associate editor of JVSR and lead researcher of this project noted, “Essential to all processes of life is the nervous system, which perceives the environment and coordinates the cellular community’s biological response to the impinging environmental stimuli. It is reasonable to consider that a system that is properly functioning to its potential may resist destructive forces more successfully and with less damage.”

Other papers in the series include:

** “Successful Pregnancy following Diagnosis of Infertility and Miscarriage”
** “Successful In Vitro Fertilization in a poor Responder while under Network Spinal Analysis Care”
** “The Reduction of Chronic Colitis with Chiropractic Care Leading to Increased Fertility”
** “Response to Gonstead Chiropractic Care in a 27 year old Athletic Female with a 5 year history of Infertility”
** “Chiropractic and Nutritional Management and its Effect on the Fertility of a Diabetic Amenorrheal Patient”
** “Healthy Pregnancy in a Previously Infertile Patient Following D.N.F.T. Chiropractic Care”
** “Female Infertility and Chiropractic Wellness Care: A Case Study on the Autonomic System Response”
** “Torque Release Technique in the Clinical Management of Infertility Related to Cultural or Religious-Based Lifestyle”
** “Sacro Occipital Technique Management of a Thirty Four Year Old Woman with Infertility”

Dr. Behrendt noted that, although not conclusive, the results of the research should stimulate consideration of structure as a factor in infertility and increase awareness of the role of the central and peripheral nervous system in fertility.

“I asked 50 women in my local community if they knew where in the spine the nerves to the reproductive organs are,” Dr. Behrendt stated. “When they realized how basic and essential this approach is, they were stunned this information is not commonly available.”

The Journal of Vertebral Subluxation Research is a peer reviewed scientific journal devoted to subluxation-based chiropractic research. It is published by the World Chiropractic Alliance (WCA), an international organization representing doctors of chiropractic and promoting the traditional, drug-free and non-invasive form of chiropractic as a means of correcting vertebral subluxations that cause nerve interference.

The WCA is an NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) associated with the United Nations Department of Public Information. For more information, contact the WCA at 800-347-1011 or visit www.worldchiropracticalliance.org

Are there any singles still out there?  I haven't seen anyone posting to the singles "board" in awhile.....I thought maybe I'd get it going again???  Anyone up for it???  

hi guys

  i want to reply on luchik's post...disciples leave God...i was one of them,, i was counted out for 2years.... thank God i got restored this year.....most of disciples i know leave God. for the reasons like....they've been critical with the leaders, hurt from other disciples, relationship outside....But i'm glad God has his own way of bringing back his sheeps...truly God is a good shepherd...psalm23....lately,, i've been hearing from the sisters, bros about their needs...relationship...especially to those singles been faithful for 10 up years...anyways only god will give the desires of our hearts...as single, i realize,,,it s is a gift from God not a curse...before i view being single,incomplete life,but i was just blinded...thank god he give me sight again...for us singles,,,,psalm37:3-5....i appreciate those sisters i know that are still faithful to god and have conviction of trusting God...hhhm one thing that help me personally is making myself busy like joining outreach programs/projects, talkin to different disciples,,im glad we have dtspace........coz in here i am able to meet a lot of disciples.im learning from them...hehehe i wish they are learning from me too....kidding aside bottomline...starts with..having a fruitful relationship with God...desiring to get close to god...no matter how hard, how difficult the challenges in life,.Godbless us all..

Any singles still out there?

It has been nearly a year since much posting.  I trust that you got busy from all your ministries studying with people returning to God and people coming to know God for the first time.

I am one who just returned to God.  Read my letter about a month ago!

Who is going to the SOAR Conference?  I'll see you there.

YBIC,

Jason