I left the church in 2004. The way my church was in 2004 made me sick to my stomach. I thought of myself to be above others. It finally got to the point that I emailed my brothers and sisters and told them that I had enough of this church and that I was leaving to either find a church that had deep convictions or just wait until the church that I was in repented (the truth was that my epilepsy medicine gave me major depression [as well as dementia, a temporary loss of eyesight,  a temporary loss of short term memory, and two kidney stones]). I was soon disfellowshipped after deciding to leave the church. When the elder of my church told me that I was disfellowshipped, I realized that I was one of the people in the church that was struggling, and that I was not above them. I realized that I was no longer a disciple of Christ, nor had I been for the 2 previous years. I realized that I had been a slave to sin, whether it be pride, anger, lust or impurity. The day the elder of my church disfellowshipped me, I prayed that God would do whatever it took to make me a disciple of Christ again...Well, shortly after that I was arrested and found guilty of a crime that I did not commit. I spent a few months in the house of correction. While I was there I read the Bible front to back 3 times. I even preached the word in the house of correction to where the inmates called me "Preacher". After that I had two kidney stones (caused by my epilepsy medicine)over the next year (going to the emergency room over 100 times in 120 days for the second kidney stone, which was like giving birth 24 times a day everyday for 4 months). My fever was so high I had my windows wide open in the wintertime (and a fan on) and I was sticking my head into my freezing cold shower to cool off (I only took 10 real showers in 4 months and I didn't have the strength to stand up, so I was usually covered with urine and blood). To numb my pain I would jump into snow banks outside of my pharmacy as they would call my doctor to get his permission to give me morphine. My fever would often cause me to pass out on the street as I would walk to my doctors office. I had a bag rapped around my leg which had a tube going into me. The bag filled up with urine and blood many times a day. I had to take a bottle of laxative a day to loosen up my stool (The combination of drinking laxatives and no solid food for 4 months made me appear anorexic).  I never slept an hour in 4 months. I never even laid down on my bed. If I were lucky, I would pass out of exhaustion on my towel covered reclining chair. When my second kidney stone was over I started having thousands of seizures. The side effect to my seizures (and or the medicine) was depression, dementia, and sleepwalking (I even ruined my chance of being restored by writing a vulgar email to Hope Worldwide in my sleep). One day I had a seizure and walked out of my house and into the local park. It was the middle of the night. I was stabbed in the forehead, arms and chest and walked down Elm Street looking like a nightmare, half conscious and covered with blood. I spent the next two months in a hospital hardly conscious and hooked up to an I.V. After that I spent four months in a nursing home. I went from being so miserable to being content there. When I left the nursing home and went home, I was tempted to go back to being my prideful, angry, lusting, impure self. I did think that the church had no right to turn down my restoration. I was angry at the church and many people in it who did not help me when my health problems arose. I lusted on websites, and I participated in impure acts sometimes 5 times a day (I didn't know until later that my epilepsy medicine gave me a high libido). I prayed to God to allow me to repent on New Years Eve. Now I have changed my epilpesy medicine; Now I haven't had a seizure in over a year; Now I have humbled myself in the sight of the Lord; Now I have apologized to the members of my church for how I had acted; Now I have forgiven those who sinned against me; Now my anger no longer exists; Now I am not tempted to lust; Now I am stronger spiritually than before I left the church; Now I have gone nearly 8 months without being impure; Now I have a sharp focus on God; Now I have moved to a new city; Now I  am attending the church once again, and now I am totally grateful for all the things God allowed to be put in my path, so as to make me a disciple once again. God answered my prayer. And the church says...AMEN!!!

Pease pray that I gain my knowledge and wisdom of the Bible back. Being through a trauma like this and losing my eyesight and memory temporarilly (3 times, which were  side effects of having so many seizures) kept me from church or from reading the Bible for years, and I need to become the Bible-wise person that I used to be. If you want to learn more of what I have been through, go to the GROUP "HEALTH AND WELLNESS" then to "PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED MINISTRY" and then to "A JOB-LIKE LIFE"...JohnFinnJr